


bare skin and a lack thereof

by orphan_account



Category: Naruto
Genre: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Trans Kakashi, Trans Male Character, Vulnerability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 20:47:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10861797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Hatake Kakashi has always struggled with opening up. A hand down his boxers doesn't change that.





	bare skin and a lack thereof

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to do a lil character study of kakashi and his anxiety surrounding opening up. i didnt proofread this forgive me for grammar mistakes

Gai slept naked.

Save for some thin undergarment that Kakashi didn’t know the name of, anyway. This didn’t come as a particular shock to Kakashi, nor did it make him uncomfortable. The problem was Gai’s unfortunately persistent personality.

“Kakashi! It is over ninety degrees tonight! I will not allow my Eternal Rival to succumb to dehydration or heat stroke. Strip!”

Kakashi’s lip quirked beneath the mask, electing to ignore his loudmouthed friend. He pulled one leg up over the other. He would be asleep by now if he were on a solo mission, but with Gai, he’d have no such luck.

They were still safely within the borders of the Land of Fire, so Kakashi wasn’t on guard for an attack. He wanted to focus on resting up for the mission ahead.

Gai, however, had a tendency to get stuck on the little things, especially when it had to do with his teammates’ wellbeing. The fact that Kakashi was used to the heat had nothing to do with it; it was all about principle. Plus, Kakashi supposed, Gai probably wanted to feel like they were on an equal playing field, for rivalry purposes.

That didn’t mean he had any plans to succumb to Gai’s will. Part of him wished he wasn’t making such a big deal about refusing, though. Part of him wished that he -

“KAKASHI!”

He rolled over on his makeshift mattress to face Gai, opening his visible eye lazily. “Yes?”

“You should strip. You’ll die.” His voice was earnest.

“That’s a pretty big leap.” Kakashi’s eye fluttered shut again. “I’m fine. Stop fussing.”

“Kakashi!” Gai whines, and Kakashi can hear the tears in his voice. “You don’t need to act cool! It’s okay! I am not only your rival, but your friend - you can trust me with the image of you!”

How poetic. He thinks Gai might be a good writer. “I’m _fine_."

Gai launches himself over to crouch directly in front of him. The view was not flattering, considering his attire. “Kakashi, you’re sweating. Why are you covering yourself? Strip."

“Christ, Gai. I’m okay. Don’t stress about it.”

Gai flopped onto the ground below, deep in thought. His eyes kept flickering towards his…

“Gai.”

“Yes, Kakashi?”

“Why in the hell are you looking at my crotch?”

Kakashi’s mind was whirring. Did he just figure it out? Maybe he should tell Gai. He hated that he always made a big deal out of this. Why was he always overthinking it? Only good-for-nothings gripe so much about this sort of thing. He should have worked through this by now. Emotions have no place on the battlefield. What an idiot. Good for nothing. Scumtrashrulebreakerbestfriendkiller _oh wait he’s talking again._ His fingernails have left indents in the flesh of his palm.

“I’ve figured out why you refuse to disrobe, rival!” Gai exclaims heartily. Kakashi braces for impact. “It’s because you’re being electrified by our blossoming as youth!”

He lifts an eyebrow. “What?” He had no idea what that was supposed to mean. It sounded nice.

“Ah… I suppose I’ll put it more plainly. Kakashi, do you have an erection? Are you embarrassed by the beginnings of manhood?”

Oh. Not so nice. “Ah-” Kakashi began, then stopped, then began again, “No.”

“Are you sure? The redness in your face says otherwise!”

Kakashi sighed. “I’m not a schoolgirl, Gai. And didn’t you just say I was dying of dehydration? Your face goes red when that happens. _Goodnight._ ” He pulled his mask up over his eye.

“Kakashi, I can help! I can cover my eyes and ears while you relieve yourself! I can hide in the woods while you do your business!”

“No, thank you. I’m fine.”

“If you didn’t have a reason to hide, you would bare yourself and feel the night air!” Jesus, where did he come up with this stuff? This boy was a walking haiku.

Kakashi let his mask slip down to its normal position, staring Gai straight in the face. “I don’t need to jack off. Stop. Let me sleep. You need rest, too." 

“Kakashi, now is not the time to be strong! I am here for you!” Gai gently placed a hand on his shoulder, and he shrugged it off.

“Go away, Gai. I’ve had enough of your nonsense.” He tried to sound stern.

“ _KAKASHI!_ ” Gai cried, even louder than the first time. The fucking Kazekage could probably hear his wailing. “There’s no need to be strong! I’ll even - I’ll even do it for you!”

Hatake Kakashi did not process these words for a few seconds. At the moment he understood, his eyes widened and his cheeks flushed a completely unholy shade of crimson and everything about him was suddenly set _on fire._ Sex? Jacking off? Maito Gai? No. No. Nonononononono. “A-Absolutely not. Go to sleep.” Kakashi had been successfully pushing down his hormones for years now. No reason to stop.

“HAAAAAAH!” Gai screamed, a declaration of war. “YOUR VOICE FALTERED! I win this round, Kakashi!”

“We were competing?” Kakashi asked, dumbfounded.

“No! But causing your facade to crack… That was a promise I’d made to myself long ago! And I’ve finally done it! Please, Kakashi, allow me to revel in my glory.”

Gai’s thick fingers reached up toward his face.

_Mask._

His limbs moved on instinct, and within a moment he had derailed Gai’s attempt and straddled him, his Chidori beginning to crackle on his fingertips.

Kakashi came to from his momentary dissociation, felt Gai’s congratulatory hard-as-a-rock erection pressing against his thigh, and violently jumped away. Fuck. He shouldn’t have picked that position to attempt to murder him, he guessed. His hands were trembling. “ _Don’t_ touch me,” he whispered. “Sorry.”

_Bestfriendkillerbestfriendkillerbestfriendkillerbes -_

“It’s fine,” said Gai, looking at him straight in the eyes. “I should have asked more politely. I understand now that Kakashi is a very private person! Apologies for the intrusion!”

His hands clapped together in front of his head, his face bowed. Kakashi nodded.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad for him to…

“Thanks,” Kakashi whispered. “And, uh. I don’t get those… Things, so sorry if I lead you into thinking something…” His voice had resolve, despite its quietness. If anyone deserved to know, it was Gai. Rivals don’t break each other’s trust, right?

Gai’s face was alight with fury... Kakashi had mastered such a preposterous technique before he’d even heard of its existence?! “You… Don’t..? How? Is this some kind of chakra control? Or medical ninjutsu? Does the Sharingan possess the ability to redirect the blood in your body and -”

Kakashi sighed. “No, moron. I - Here.”

He strolled over as casually as he could manage, despite the fact that every muscle in his body was telling him to stay still. Plopping down, he sat criss-cross in front of Gai.

“Feel my chest.”

“What? Kakashi, I’m honored to examine your pectorals, but I don’t see how that has anything to do with the matter at h-”

“I’m too lazy to explain, and besides, any explanation I give will probably confuse you anyway, so…” He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, stroking his own gooseflesh with his thumb to try and quell his fear. “Just… Feel. Through my sweatshirt. No groping.”

“You won’t attack me?”

“No.”

“No lightning?”

“None. I lost control earlier. I’m sorry.”

“I scared you?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Look, can you just get on with it?” Kakashi’s face was unbearably hot.

Gai placed a flat palm against his chest.

The bunchy fabric hid them, but they were still there. He saw Gai’s face change when he felt them.

“Kakashi, you’re a-”

“Boy.”

“But-”

“I’m a boy.”

Gai paused, taking this uncharacteristic development in. He inhaled, exhaled, then smiled. “Okay.”

“Do you think less of me?”

“No, not at all.”

Kakashi smiled under his mask. “Cool.”

“So you have a-”

“Yeah. So I don’t get those things. Get it?”

“Understood! But, Kakashi, now that I know, what’s the use in staying in those winter clothes? There’s nothing there now that will surprise me.”

Kakashi looked away, calculating his response. “No,” is all he seemed to come up with.

“But-”

“I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“I just can’t. Sorry."

“There has to be some kind of reason, Kakashi.” 

Damn his persistence.

“I just - I have boundaries.”

“But these boundaries are unnecessary! I know what you’ve been keeping from me. There’s nothing to hide.”

Kakashi thought for a moment. He inhaled deeply. He spoke.

“It’s not the fact that it’s a girl’s. It’s the fact that it’s mine.”

Gai breathed his words in. Analyzed them. “Are you insecure about your physical form?”

“That’s not it.”

“Then what is it?!”

“Let me sleep.”

“Kakashi, I just want to know.”

Kakashi sighed. “Why? It’s not important.”

Gai, for once in his life, looked hesitant.

“I don’t want to mess it up again, rival. I scared you.”

He exhaled. He waited a moment, contemplating. Should he..?

The fear in his friend’s eyes tells him yes.

“Get me a piece of paper. And a pen.”

Gai stands up and shuffles over to their things. Kakashi took a moment to steady his intake of oxygen, to slow his heart rate down. He could do this. For Gai. For Gai. He would overcome the terror creeping its way up his spine.

He thought back awkwardly to the feeling of a hard-on against his pant leg. He didn’t hate that part, actually. The teenage boy hidden inside the mantle of angst within him furiously jerked his imaginary clitoris.

He was soon presented with a scroll and a watercolor set. Why Gai had decided to bring this, he’d never know, but he thanked his lucky stars that it was there. He picked up the paintbrush and began to draw.

Most of the things he drew were easy to decide on. That should be this color. This should be that color. However, there was one spot that Kakashi couldn’t figure out. He remembered Gai’s original proposition, and his accidental erection...

And colored it yellow.

“Here,” said Kakashi. He handed the scroll to Gai, who began to peruse its containings.

“That’s a chart describing where you can touch me…” Kakashi looked away. “If we’re not sparring, I mean.”

Gai’s face was confused. “I didn’t know you were so particular.”

“I mean… Yeah. I’m not so good with… The whole physical contact thing.” He wondered if he should tell him why that was, but couldn’t force the words out of his mouth. “It’s because of… Stuff that happened to me when I was little, I guess.”

“Like… The White Fang?” Gai asked slowly. Kakashi’s eyes widened. He knew?

“...Um, yeah… The whole vulnerability thing… Isn’t something I’m good at.”

“Understood!” Gai gave him a shining grin and a resounding thumbs up. “But, Kakashi, why is this area yellow?”

He was pointing to the crotch of the drawing. Ah.

“...Yeah. I was thinking about what you said earlier, and also how you were when I attacked you… And I thought it might not be so bad..?” He trailed off, his voice an octave higher than it should be.

“I mean, if you’re comfortable with that sort of contact… But I’m not experienced with your anatomy, Kakashi.”

Kakashi waved him off. “Yeah, yeah, it was just a thought. Sorry I a-”

“Rival, that’s not saying I’m not happy to provide.”

Was he blushing? He might be blushing. They both might be blushing.

“Have you done that stuff before?” This was the most age-appropriate thing Kakashi had said in years. He sounded seventeen for once.

Gai nodded. “When I’m on missions with my team, we tend to, er, I believe they refer to it as circle-jerking.”

Kakashi blinked. “Oh. I’ve never done that.”

“Not surprising…” What was that supposed to mean? Kakashi’s pride was playfully wounded. “So, rival, do you want to..?”

“We’re not putting anything in any holes,” the masked boy stated firmly. “And I’m not taking anything but my pants off.”

He felt his fingertips dig into his palms again. Was he ready for this? He looked to his friend. Gai’s eyes were sparkling and expectant. He figured he could pull through.

“That is fine!” Gai agreed, “I believe the most comfortable position for this kind of escapade would be if you sat here.” He spread his thighs and pointed in between them.

“Okay…” Kakashi mulled over it. If they did it that way, then Gai wouldn’t see his face… Perfect. He stood up, and removed his sandals, as well as his baggy black pants. He was left in his sweatshirt, mask-undershirt combo, and his green pawprint boxers.

“Kakashi! Your underwear is quite cute!” Gai proclaimed. “I would expect nothing less from my adorable rival!”

“That’s condescending,” Kakashi responded. “But thanks.” He stepped betwixt Gai’s legs and carefully sat down, the grass pricking at his bare legs.

Gai’s hand reached around his waist and settled between his legs. He heard a deep inhalation behind him. Was he nervous? “I’m going to put this in your pants now,” he heard.

Kakashi was grateful for the warning, as fingers slipped down to rest over his private parts.

“Are these supposed to be moist?” Gai asked. Jesus. How embarrassing.

“It means the person’s turned on,” Kakashi replied, trying to seem nonchalant. He was anything but. The only thing that had touched this area was his own right hand, and that was usually just to wash it. His heart was racing, and his skin was damp with sweat.

Gai’s pointer traced the opening of his vulva. _Okay._ His touch was soft, but it still felt fiery. He delved in, harder than he should, and Kakashi winced as his finger jammed into his pelvic bone.

“Is the hole supposed to be this short?!” Gai exclaimed, surprise. “You should get this looked at, Eternal Rival!”

“That’s not the hole. The hole’s down further. And you’re not allowed to touch it.”

Gai whimpered. “There’s nothing else to touch, though!”

Resisting the urge to face-palm, Kakashi sighed. “Have you ever heard of a clitoris?”

Silence. Then, “Oh, I forgot you cannot see me. No, I haven’t.”

“Imagine someone taking the head of your penis, shrinking it down to the size of the tip of your pinkie, and then making it even more sensitive. That’s what you’re supposed to be touching,” Kakashi responded, cursing himself inwardly. Maybe this was too much. Maybe they should stop. Maybe he wasn’t ready for this. He shouldn’t have asked. He shouldn’t have -

Gai dragged the finger upward and gently bumped the nub he’d just described. Kakashi inhaled sharply. Okay, that felt nice. He’d stick it out.

“I’ve found it!” Gai declared. “What do I do now?”

“Rub it in circles, I guess. That’s what I do when I need to get off.”

His fingertip was immediately too persistent. “Christ - softer, softer. Like I said, it’s sensitive.”

“Understood!”

Tender ministrations began around the hood of his clit. He tried to keep his breathing steady.

“Aren’t you supposed to be making some kind of noise?” Gai asked, confused.

“That’s only in porno,” Kakashi responded, hiding his true unkemptness.

“So I just… Keep going? How do I know when to stop?” The lack of decoration and volume in his choice of words made Kakashi uncomfortable.

“You’ll feel it,” he replied, and left it at that.

Gai kept at it for another minute or so, and Kakashi drew his left leg so that it rested over Gai’s. For better access. He leaned back into the other jounin’s chest, his intake of breath steadily increasing in speed, his eye flickering shut.

“I wish I could see your face,” Gai said, after a while.

Kakashi contemplated for a moment. “I’d rather you didn’t look, but you can use your other hand and feel it, if you want.”

So Gai took his left hand and placed it gently on Kakashi’s cheek, sliding up to feel his eyebrows drawn in, falling down to feel the part of his lips through the mask.

“Are you getting close?” The taijutsu specialist asked, after another minute. He had felt Kakashi’s respiratory rate increase, probably.

“Y-Yeah,” he answered. “Press down harder.” And that he did.

Soon, Kakashi felt the wave of orgasm rushing toward him, the muscles in his legs and between them tensing, his hands gripping his own thighs. He gasped softly when it hit, and Gai must have felt it, because he immediately drew away.

“Thanks for the handjob,” Kakashi said, once he’d caught his breath. He, to his own surprise, wasn’t freaking out. Gai chuckled with his usual candor.

“No problem, my Eternal Rival! Is it too much to ask for one in return?”

Taking a moment to turn it over in his head, Kakashi nodded slowly. He shifted so that he was facing the other shinobi.

“Your face is very red,” Gai pointed out, to Kakashi’s mortification.

“So’s yours,” he retorted. “What do I do?”

Gai reached into his underwear and pulled it out. It was… Stumpy looking. Thick. Kakashi wasn’t sure what to think of it. “You put your hand around it, and move it slowly up and down.”

“Okay, said Kakashi, and outstretched his hand. It was shaking, but luckily, Gai didn’t seem to notice. His fingers wrapped around his dick solidly and he dragged them upward. The skin moved with his hand, to Kakashi’s surprise, so he didn’t have to shift much.

He found a steady pace. Unlike himself, Gai was loud. His breathing was heavy and he made these loud “oh” noises every once and awhile. Liquid was gathering at the tip and slowly started to trickle down, lubricating Kakashi’s motions.

It twitched in his hand. Kakashi winced. “Are you about to finish?”

“Yes!” Gai exclaimed. “I am close! The beautiful pleasures of youth are overtaking me! Your calloused hands have me whimpering!”

Kakashi elected to ignore his nonsense, and sped up a little. Before he knew it, semen was spurting out onto Gai’s naked stomach. He wiped his hand on the grass.

“Okay,” said Kakashi. “I’m going to bed now.”

Gai seemed sad. “Okay,” he replied, and patted Kakashi on the head. When Kakashi made a confused face, Gai added, “Your chart states that it’s okay to touch there. Goodnight.”

Kakashi scooted back to his sleeping bag and laid down. His mind was racing, and he had no idea how to quell it. Was he with Gai now? Were they friends with benefits? Would Kakashi care about him more than he should from now on? What would he do when he inevitably lost him? He’d never kept a friend before, especially one who was a ninja. That wasn’t likely to change. He’d always get left behind.

A thought came to him that shocked him. _If you’re going to lose him, make the most of the time you have._

Kakashi drew his breath inward, then spoke. “Do you want to know why I wear the mask?”

No response. Gai was already sleeping.

Kakashi rolled onto his back and faced the moon.


End file.
